The other day I was sitting, and talking with my 21-year-old son. He was explaining to me that being “satisfied” in his mind is being fully happy and content with whatever it is a person is contemplating. My version of “satisfaction” I explained is average, kin to settling. I explained that being satisfied does not mean that I am not happy or grateful, it’s just in my opinion being satisfied well, just….is.
This led us into a fairly philosophical discussion about life. He explained that he finally understood something about me, and that is that I spend way too much time chasing a state of exceedingly incredible which leads me into unrealistic expectations of myself and the world around me which is why I can never be truly satisfied. Additionally, he explained, that his whole life he”s seen me (try to) give 100% to everything, he listed parenting, work, Spirituality, being a daughter, working out, blah, blah, blah, and then he said, 100% everywhere is impossible and leaves nothing left for me!
Let me start my thoughts with you here dear blog reader, with the fact that he is my son, he is super bright, creative and direct, the latter of which he learned from me (damn it). If I’m honest he made a few really good points that didn’t register with me right away but after some thought, it smacked me upside my head like a red hot brick! I do need to do a better job deciding where to give 100% and where it’s ok to give less.
You know what?
Despite the obvious generational gap…he’s right dog-on-it! I am not perfect, after all, who is? The fact is that I oftentimes wear my self down to a nub trying to be excellent at everything I do. I want to represent my disabled peeps as beautifully as I can, I want to go to work every day and make a real difference, and so much more. I am a person that puts so much pressure on myself that I often hold myself accountable for things that I had no involvement in or responsibility for.
Hey, I know that I am work in progress. I am super self-reflective (as you can see from my writing) and I work on my self-talk every day. I also practice gratitude every day. How grateful can I be if being satisfied is not enough? The funny thing is that I do feel happy, happier than I’ve been for many years. I feel good, I love my home, I love having my son home again, I love the relationship with my inner Goddess and so much more. I’ve learned to see the joy in everything! I am satisfied!
Being satisfied doesn’t mean that I don’t want more, and frankly, the God I serve wants me to have what I desire. I’m not speaking of material things, (although my beach house is material …just sayin’). ——>>>>>> ——>>>>>>
I’m talking about personal growth. Real deep personal, Spiritual growth. I guess I am Spiritually greedy!
I know there are others out there who try to give 100% in too many places. I choose to give 100% to my growth. Whatever comes to me that is needed for that growth I will give that 100% too.
Even though my son and I differ on our ideas of satisfaction, I can honestly say that I give our relationship 100% which in my mind is a part of our growth separately and together.
Let’s all choose where and what we give 100%! Let’s not spread our lives so thin that we are little balls of wet noodle every night or living for weekend rest. Follow your joy and give THAT 100% it is so satisfying.
Love, Light & Satisfaction!
Cr8Ab
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