In my life, I try to stay conscious of the way things “make me feel.” I’ve learned (finally) to be vigilant about what gives me energy and what depletes it. I’m not perfect, but I really try not to give power to words and focus on the intent of the person using the words. If the intent is unclear, I ask for clarity with questions like…
- What makes you say that?
- What did you mean by that?
- What I hear you saying is… then I repeat my understanding and ask; “Is that what you meant?”
But, if I’m honest, there are certain words (and topics) that carry an emotional charge. Words that mean different things to different people.
Like the “F-bomb”! We’ve all heard it and many of us have used it, but the reaction to it will vary drastically in different settings. Don’t worry, this post is not about THAT “F word” but about a few others that can bring emotionality into play.
I’ve listed 7 words below that begin with the letter “F”. In the right (or wrong depending on the perspective) context, these words/topics make us feel “kinda squishy,” uncomfortable or in other words “EFF” us up!
Here they are:
What came to mind, people, memories, actions, panic, excitement, things left undone, guilt? These are just words, letters of the English alphabet that are put in a certain order for us to communicate. If any of these words carry feelings that make you uncomfortable, that is a good thing! That means there is something for you to do.
Are you afraid of FAILURE? Many of us are! But we’ve all heard the stories of how people have failed their way into success. Read the stories of 48 people (including Beyoncé) who failed. The important thing is to fail boldly, then get up, dust off your wounds, and push forward. Most of us learned that failure is bad in school. Failure in the form of a grade was bad and that is ingrained in our psyche. Let it go! Be relentless, be resilient! Don’t give failure the power to stop you!
Maybe it’s FEAR that makes you shudder! If so, you are not alone! Fear is a real pain in the butt! I believe that fear is like a beacon in the night showing us where we need to focus and move. What are you in fear of? Don’t over think it… it’s that first thing (or things) that entered your mind. Get after it! Face it! Move through it! Learn from it!
If talking about FINANCES makes you uncomfortable, is there is something in your financial life that needs attention? Do you need better financial planning, or to make more money? Great! Take the actions needed. Contact a financial planner, start saving money, seek a higher paying job or do something that will increase your net income etc.
Just thinking about FITNESS can cause grief because it tends to be something we want or intend to do, but we don’t! We feel guilty because of our lack of fitness or willingness to exercise. Take it one step, one day at a time. Start by walking 20 minutes 3 times a week. If you have a disability, move whatever you can for 20 minutes 3 times a week. Get a buddy, trainer, or fitness coach who will hold you accountable. Commit to yourself! Just start today. Remove the clothes that you have draped over that workout equipment at home! Exercise even when you don’t want to! If you fall off the horse, get back on.
What if the topic of FOOD makes you feel empty (pun intended)? Maybe it is an area where you feel out of control? Is it time to join a group or learn more about nutrition? Do you need to see a therapist to help you learn why you eat the way you do? Whatever your issues are with food…deal with them, face them head on! Tell your friends at dinner that you are working on yourself and will not have another bite of that fudge brownie dessert. Good friends will support you! Call a nutritionist, food coach, or a dietitian. Join a group. Take action….NOW!
FORGIVENESS can be a doozy! Am I right? Start by forgiving yourself then face whatever it is that you need to forgive someone else for. Forgive yourself for not forgiving. Forgive yourself for starting that argument, or leaving something unsaid. Self-forgiveness is tough for many of us. Work through your feelings. Then and only then can you truly forgive others. Have that conversation (if appropriate), or find a way to work through your feelings about being wronged. Write down how you feel and burn it allowing the smoke and ash to ceremoniously dissolve your feelings of being wronged. Forgiving is not forgetting! It is learning and not holding the other person hostage to the memory of what you forgave them for. Do it! Why wait, forgive! Life is too short!
Should the FUTURE be an issue, reach into the uncertainty and embrace it. Do what you know you need to do for your desired future and be ok with your progress. Realize and accept that you ARE NOT in control of the final outcome. Accept that the future is uncertain and not guaranteed…take that in (breath) and embrace it. Plan if that’s your thing, but stay open to what develops.
Hopefully, you will review the list above again, and take action on anything that makes you feel “effed” up!
- See a therapist
- Hire a coach
- Get a financial planner
Do what it takes to takes!
Don’t allow words, topics or emotions to stop you or slow you down.
Take the power from the words by doing what you KNOW you need to do!. Be aware of your thoughts. Move through the emotion.
Use the emotion as a fuel in your motivational tank! Stomp on the gas pedal and get moving!
What the eff? You have nothing to lose!
Let’s effen go!!
Love, Light, and Embracing the “F” words!
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