The things we criticize the most about others are actually the things we need to look at within ourselves.
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, Self-Recognition is the recognition of one’s own self.
Lately, I’ve noticed that we spend a lot of time looking at the errors and foul-ups of others. We oftentimes forget or don’t even consider our own unkind words, mistakes, poor actions and/or mistreatment of others.
Consider these brief stories:
Mike & Sam
In a recent conversation, a person (let’s call him Mike) spent so much time whining and complaining about what a bloke named Sam was doing to him. Mike described multiple areas that Sam needed to do improve or do differently. As Mike continued with the whole “If I were Sam, I would…” and “Sam needs to blah, blah, blah..” conversation, I listened trying to stay focused. I kept getting swept away in my mind by the fact that Mike wasn’t even considering himself to be any part of the problem. When Mike told me that Sam wasn’t being “upfront or honest” about this and that, I couldn’t help but wonder if Mike talked to Sam about his concerns before bringing them to me, and if not, wasn’t Mike doing the exact thing he was accusing Sam of?
Faye & Tammy
In another recent conversation, a person (let’s call her Faye) was explaining to me that a relative (Tammy) was being mean. Faye was concerned that Tammy will soon need help due to her declining health. She went on and on about Tammy’s meanness and how unbearable and unreasonable she can be. She went on asking “Can you believe her?” and saying things like “SHE had the nerve to say blah, blah, blah…!” The funny yet not so funny thing is that Faye can be very cruel, nasty, and mean herself! I have often seen Faye’s treatment of others (including myself) cause anger, ill feelings and actual tears. I have even heard people refer to Faye as having anger issues.
Although conversations like those above are quite common in my world, I’ve learned to ask the tough questions that allow people to look into the mirror at their own shortcomings.
- Why did /does that behavior bother you?
- Might there be a different interpretation of the behavior?
- What was your response to the behavior?
At times during these conversations, I get an uncomfortable feeling, like a tingle up my spine. When that happens I make a mental note to come back to it in my own mirror later and examine what it is about me that is causing discomfort? Typically, I find my own shortcomings within the “discomfort.”
I ask myself…
- Am I ready to look at the discomfort closely?
- Do I need to consider a change?
- Has my lack of self-recognition caused pain to anyone else?
- If so should I apologize?
I ask these questions IF I can see the cause of my discomfort clearly and I don’t always see it initially….hey I’m a work in progress too!
Why do we miss these things?
Why can’t we see ourselves in our own criticism of others?
Truthfully, I have no idea, but I hereby vow that the next time I’m feeling particularly critical of another person to stop and review myself. Even if I miss the correlation, once it is in my awareness, I know my subconscious will reveal it to me in time.
Let’s all keep a mirror handy when we criticize others.
Let’s all actively seek self-recognition.
Let’s hop off the criticism bus headed down the “How Dare You” highway!
Why not, jump on the train of Self-Recognition speeding toward the city of Awareness!
Love, Light & Self-Recognition!
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