LOL at my life!

So… Sometimes my life is like a really bad or corny sitcom, and other times it is like a train wreck reality show that you’re afraid to watch but just can’t manage to turn away from!

I want to share three recent events that in hindsight are funny, but not so funny in the moment.  Go ahead laugh…then think about the hilarity in your own life.

Welcome to a peek into my life!

The Black Eye

Recently, while pushing through one of my seated kickboxing workouts. I was using 2 lb dumbbells with 1 lb glove weights for fast repetitions of above the head arm raises. Suddenly, I totally clocked myself in the left eye! Ok, I know you’re wondering “how the heck did she do that?” Well, due to my nerve issues, sometimes I can’t feel where my arms are in space especially when they are fatiguing. Anyway, I was home alone at the time so I dropped the weights and screamed in pain!  “AAAAUUUGGGGHHH!!  After I yelled a few expletives of the four-letter variety… My dogs (who were in the house) rushed to my rescue. My little girl Poketz, came around the corner and saw that I was holding my eye. She looked at me as if in her little doggie brain she was calling me a dumb ass.  Then she turned and walked away. I knew I was gonna have a black eye! So like the badass I think I am, I picked up the weights and pushed through my the rest of my workout. The next day it was swollen and greenish, the following day a puffy red circle appeared, then it became a puffy, purple circle, not unlike the dog Petey from The Little Rascals.                     ——–>>>>>>>————>>>>>——–>>>>>>

Two weeks later I had less swelling but still had a 1/2 inch purple spot under my eye. As an added bonus, while my black eye was in its purple prime time, I was asked to interview for a job! OF COURSE, right!? I went for the interview and thought, I hope they don’t think I have some big beefy life partner at home who beats me up!  They called me back for follow-up conversations and never mentioned it.   I hope my glasses and fancy hair did a good job of hiding it.

 

The Freudian Slip

Yeah… so this happened…

During another recent job interview (not the one mentioned above), I was attempting to describe a scenario using the word ”section.” Instead of saying ”section” I said…

“SEXY!”

 OK let’s make matters worse, shall we?  I was interviewing with a very nice, AND attractive man who was also British.

He kinda looked like the guy on the left!

If you follow my blogs you know how much I enjoy a British accent!  Excuse me as I pause for the highly inappropriate fantasy…

… Ok, I’m back!

I knew I would like working for him when he said in his glib British accent ”boy, that was a slip huh?!”  I chuckled and was tempted to add to the joke. Those who know me understand how hard it was to refrain!  But, I stayed professional and present and knew that’d be a really bad idea. In the car on the way home, I laughed at myself and thought… Well, he WAS kinda cute though! Believe it or not, I am still in process for that job too!

FYI, the guy was very nice and uber professional, this was just a funny moment that might have been a really embarrassing and awkward moment if I embarrassed easily and if he had not chuckled about it!

The “On Track” Delivery

The driveway in front of my house has a motorized iron gate with a walk in entry accessible by flipping a latch. I love having things delivered to my home. It’s like receiving gifts from the Universe (note the optimism)! I don’t know what I’ll do when packages are delivered by drones! Well anyway… one day, while I was out a large box, was delivered.   Upon my return, I clicked the remote button in my car to open the gate and drive my car into the driveway.  In horror, I watched the box slide and become wedged in the back corner of the track which is bricked in and raised about 3 feet from the ground.

I realized that a delivery person left the box right on the track of my gate! Now, for context, the track is raised and obvious, AND I have a huge lawn, a covered driveway, and a huge covered porch area. Why the person left it there..of all places is beyond me! As you can imagine it caused the gate to malfunction and get stuck. With me on the outside, parked illegally! Let’s level up to level 2… why don’t we… for safety, I have a loud continuously beeping alarm that sounds if there is something caught in the track that prevents its full opening. I had to park my car, roll my scooter out, just to get into my property.

OK now for level 3, wait for it……Did I mention that I had to pee!? I had to go while I out but where I was the bathrooms were disgusting! If one could ignore the smell of its crappy goodness, using the safety bar in there would have been like touching biohazard material! A brown speck of anything in a restroom is… well… “pretty shitty!” Full disclosure, I literally peed in my pants, in my own bathroom because I’d waited too long and just couldn’t get my pants down fast enough! No, I don’t mean a “cute pee” a “tinkle” a “wee-wee” or a “potty.” I mean a complete Niagara Falls bladder release in my pants and on the floor!  I had to take a shower with my car illegally parked in front of my house with the hazard lights flashing!

After my post pee shower, I went back outside and shimmied the box up and out of the deep bricked area in which it was trapped. It was one of those moments when I was thankful for my strength training!

So yeah…Level 4… the box broke all over my front yard and you will never guess what was inside!? Wait for it…12 eight packs of toilet paper extra large 2 ply rolls! They kinda package spread across my yard so I had to roll back and forth like a friggin 4×4 across my yard carrying them on my scooter a couple at a time into my garage.  Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up people!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Hopefully, you’ve had a chuckle or two!

• Laugh frequently especially at yourself!  Don’t take yourself so seriously!
• Laughter is medicine and spiritual food!
• Find “the funny” everywhere, and in everything!

Look for reasons for gut-wrenching, non-drug induced laughter, especially at yourself!  In a bad mood, watch a funny movie or comedy show, call a friend who always makes you laugh, go to an amusement park…Heck, I even got a chuckle watching a lady drop about 6 eggplants at the grocery store.  Of course, I helped her pick them up, but her yelling “oooooh” was too much for me to resist!  I cracked up!

• Laugh ’til you pee!
• Laugh ’til you cry!
• Laugh ’til coffee seeps out of your nostrils!
• Laugh ’til your face turns red!

 

Just laugh more, none of us laugh enough!

 

Love, Light, and Laughter!

Cr8Ab

 

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