I think I am having both a Mid-Life AND an Existential Crisis… AT THE SAME TIME! In fact, being at an age where living the same number of years you have behind you is unlikely, it kinda makes you think about a few things…
Mid Life Crises Questions:
Damn, that was fast!
Does my butt still look good in these jeans?
Is this ALL I’ve done in ALL these years?
Why do I keep having hot flashes?
Hmmm, I wonder if “cougar-ism” is an option for me?
Should I bling out my scooter and buy a Red Corvette?
Existential Crisis Questions:
What’s next for me?
Why did people like Whitney Housten, and Michael Jackson die and I am still here?
What is the meaning and purpose of my life?
What has been my greatest life lesson thus far?
Have I ever reallybeen in love?
How can I live my best life?
Seriously?! Sometimes I feel like I have 2 personalities. I roll by a mirror one day and see a beautiful “young for her age” woman. And another day, I see an “old lady” ready to wrap it up, grab some knitting, put a blanket her lap, and sit on the porch with a shotgun, in an old rocking chair!
Recently, I had what I will refer to as ”a scary situation”. I was forced to face one of my biggest fears. I was thinking, first of all, “Is this crap really necessary?” And second, “What if I don’t make it through this?” Not making it through was not an unsettling thought for me. Now, before you get all judgy on me, thinking I’m suicidal or something, hear me out.
I believe we all have to flow with life… And death. I mean, what can we really do about it? The day your number comes up, that’s it! Adiós my friend! We can’t run, and we can’t hide!
I live my life as healthily as I can, I eat right, and work out more than most. What else can I do?! I have the resting heart rate of an athlete, low-normal blood pressure, no diabetes, blah blah blah. None of that matters!
A car eventually breaks down or costs you a shit load of money, even if you service it on time every year! Paint it! Polish it! Use high octane petro…that car will NOT last forever! Scrapheap (“skip” for my friends across the pond), parts donation or on a rare occasion, a classic.
I’ve been asked, why I workout so much, and why I don’t “cheat” on my “diet”. I’ve even had people tell me that I’m not gonna avoid aging so whats the point? Really? And you think I’M suicidal?
Now, I’m going to type responses to the above from my “True Self” to avoid four-letter expletives! My “mid-life self” cusses like a sailor on the high friggin seas! And you’ll want me to end with “young grasshoppa” if I respond from my existential self!
Why do I workout so much?
Because I enjoy it. It helps me manage my stress and anxiety. Working out is a form of meditation that creates the need for me to focus especially when it hurts. I also really enjoy the hormone release afterward. It is quite calming. And finally, I work out because it gives me a personal sense of accomplishment.
Why don’t I “cheat” on my diet?
I don’t cheat on my diet because it isn’t a diet! The way I eat is a lifestyle choice that I made many years ago. Aside from the weight I was gaining (especially as a person who doesn’t walk much), I paid close attention to how my body felt after eating potato chips, ice cream, and other simple carbohydrates. I felt lethargic, heavy, restless, and tired. Ipsofacto…I don’t want to feel that way so I changed the way I eat. To “cheat” implies that I am doing it for someone that I can hide from. I do it for me, so why would I cheat on myself? Besides, I really enjoy the foods I eat!
Why bother if I’m gonna age anyway?
I have no intention of avoiding the aging process, nor am I in denial about my age. But, I want to be graceful about it and look good doing it…hater! (oh sorry, mid-life me snuck in!)
So, I typed all this to say Existentially and Mid-Life-ily I’m working through it. I believe my issues, although written in a humorous way, are pretty serious and sometimes dark. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill anybody, or scream unprofessionally at work. If you looked at me you’d likely never know!
No, I don’t know the meaning of my life!
No, I don’t know why certain things happen to some and not others!
No, I don’t know why there are starving people everywhere!
But I do know that the Universe has my back, and everything is in divine order!
Oh, and FYI, my butt still looks good in these jeans! Yup, I said it!
Love, Light, and workin’ it at any age, or ability
“Embrace YOUR Life at every age and at every stage!”