Howdy everyone in blog land! While thinking about the future last night and doing a bit of self-reflection, 3 things came to mind that I thought I would share.
In no particular order of importance or thought, the connection points between these words started to materialize.
I have had a lot of time to self-reflect recently and although I tend to keep a constant eye on my inner self how I approach life, people, and situations, lately I’ve given much thought to vulnerability (too many Brene Brown TED-TALKS) and the role it plays in self-reflection, and the role fear plays in paralyzing the ability to act.
Now, I realize what I am about to type will sound straight-up crazy to some of you, the Universe is directing me to share so someone reading needs to see this! Here it goes…
When self-reflecting, we have to bring to light that which prevents self–realization. Simply watching what we do and reviewing is not enough. In order to “realize” oneself we must fully expose, acknowledge, and admit thereby flipping the switch on to our internal vulnerability. Then we must take action through strength and courage.
I know, being vulnerable to the world is hard, but allowing vulnerability to ourselves is arguably harder!
….because no one is harder on us than we are, no one judges us more harshly than ourselves, no one says nastier or more horrible things to us then we do. How many times have we allowed the self talk to tell us how awful we are as friends, parents, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, wives, husbands or people in general?
FEAR… Being vulnerable can include fear but it doesn’t have to debilitate us to the point of inaction, and denial like fear can. Being vulnerable is based on information or knowledge, which is why we can see through it.. if we choose. Fear is based more on what we are unsure of or think versus what we know.
A vulnerable soldier on a battlefield, for example, may not return but knowing there is or will be danger, the soldier can effectively protect from that which makes them vulnerable. A fearful or scared soldier on the same field may fire wildly in self protect mode thereby potentially harming those around him or her who were there for protection, or simply hide from the danger (This is a hypothetical example! I respect and thank all military personnel globally and want THEM ALL back home to their families).
Knowing and accepting vulnerability is a much more strategic approach to life. As Brene Brown has discussed, creativity and innovation are born of organizational vulnerability. Companies see their vulnerabilities on the horizon, acknowledges them and takes steps toward addressing the concerns through creativity and innovation.
I’m going to assume that if you’re still reading, you “get it” whether you agree with me or not.
So what is the call to action!
BE VULNERABLE, LIKE A BOSS (VLB)!
I know you’re thinking vulnerability is for punks! I say, don’t be fooled! There are many reality murder shows that are demonstrating how vulnerable people are kicking ass (literally). Although that is extreme and violence is never the answer, you get the point. Just watch an episode of Snapped and you’ll understand what I’m saying.
Here are a couple of examples of rocking vulnerability:
Scenario #1 – You are afraid of losing your job, and you have a family to support.
VLB response: “I’m really scared of what might happen, but I’m gonna tune up my resume, make a few phone calls and get out there!”
Fear focused response (FFR): “I’m not scared of losing my job or anything because they need me!” The first part of that sentence is not truthful and the back half leads to inaction and denial.
Scenario #2 – You’ve just been given a rough medical diagnosis.
VLB response: “I have to admit, I am really scared, but will you help me research my options and next steps? I can’t think right now.”
FFR: “Whatever, that doctor has no idea what she’s talking about. I don’t care what that test showed, I’m going to wait 6 months then deal with it if it is still there.
Do you see the difference between VLBs and FFRs?
I’m choosing to BE Vulnerable, like a BOSS! Who’s with me?
Believe me, I have responded to my illness, then disability (and many other situations) in “healthily vulnerable” ways as well as completely irrational, unadulterated fear, and denial. In some cases, I thought the responses made me sound brave. The only difference now is that I know the difference. I still don’t get it right every time, but every mistake is an opportunity to begin again….and again!
Yep shove that ego out of the window and embrace vulnerability…say it with me…LIKE A BOSS!
Love and Light Bosses!