“I’d rather be dead than in a wheelchair!”

(The title is an actual quote that I overheard)

Really? I don’t know about you, but there are MANY things I’d rather do than die. Don’t get me wrong, dying is not a personal fear of mine, but it isn’t something I’m in a rush to experience for Pete’s sake!

Many of us particularly those of us who lived part of our lives without Creative Abilities, typically experience periods of “What the Eff’edness?” whether we admit it or not.

My onset in 2004 was initiated by a rare illness that caused my immune system to eat away at the covering of my nerves. As a result, I was paralyzed for several months. I am living with the residual Neuropathy complete with nerve pain (severe at times), minimal Proprioception andAtaxia I also have bouts of fatigue and restlessness (primarily due to the nerve pain).

Prior to 2004, I was athletic and physically fit. I grew up as a competitive sprinter, and on dance, cheer and drill teams. The picture below is of me cheerleading when I was in college (in case you’re wondering, I’m the crazy young fool being thrown in the air on the left).

I remember thinking, as my family surrounded my bed in the Intensive Care Unit…

“WTF?”

“What will I do now?”

“How will I raise my son?”

“What will my life be?”

“Will I ever be able to care for myself again?”

Blah, blah, blah.

I recall being angry, I mean…really pissed at times, and super sad at other times. I even developed Post Traumatic Stress (that I still live with today) surrounding hospitals in general and lying in hospital beds.

I hope newly disabled, diagnosed or otherwise impacted people will move through these feelings bravely, and gracefully as part of their holistic healing process.

The hardest part is the vulnerability…emotionally and physically!

Yep, I said it! Wooo, that felt good!

Let me type that again in all caps…VULNERABILITY.

Maybe I’m embracing this word and concept because I’ve been listening to Brene Brown lately, but for me.. this has been the hardest part of the journey. Yes, I was raised to push hard and not to give up, but the real magic is learning how to give up not to the healing, but surrendering to the learning so that you are much stronger than you believed you could be.

For those of us who have had CreativeAbilities for a number of years, we know that if we had been told 5+ years before what we would experience we would have said, “no way! I don’t think I could survive that!” But guess what? We ARE HERE! Good or bad, fair or unfair, our cards were dealt and now we “gotta” play!

I rise today, healthier and stronger physically due to a gym I have at home and a commitment to fitness and healthy food choices. I am growing spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, and despite recent challenges (because the universe loves a good laugh), STILL, I RISE to quote the great Maya Angelou!

I will embrace my abilities

I will think creatively about solutions to day-to-day challenges

I will no longer laugh at myself to make others comfortable with me

I will acknowledge my fear and vulnerability turn and face them with honor a bravery

I will continue to be vibrant and beautiful, if only in my own mind because THAT is where true beauty lies anyway

AND STILL… I rise

Sending love and light to you!

Cr8Ab

 

© 2018 All Rights Reserved

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

tonysbologna : Honest. Satirical. Observations.

Honest. Satirical. Observations.

Bones To Bulk

From Skinny to Buff

Rock For Disability

My life on Tour

Me, Myself and Disability

Because it's more complicated than that...

Travellers With Disabilities

Inspired words that CreativelyAble Us To Live Life Enthusiastically With Courage, Gratitude, Love, Truth & Authenticity.... CreativelyFIT, CreativelyWELL, CreativelyYOU!

The Life Quadriplegic

with Alex Squire

Dr. Eric Perry, PhD

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

CreativelyAble

Inspired words that CreativelyAble Us To Live Life Enthusiastically With Courage, Gratitude, Love, Truth & Authenticity.... CreativelyFIT, CreativelyWELL, CreativelyYOU!

Healthy with Jodi

Let Jodi help you unlock your full potential for Health and Wellness

Pink Slip Fashion

Where Your Style Hasn't Been Fired, It's Been Pink Slipped.

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Awesome Mountain Girl

A post stroke journey back to the awesome me I used to be

Life Without Lines

Breaking Free from Boundaries and Living Without Fear

Business Casual

What they didn't teach you in business school

Travel Itineraries

Travel the World 4 Less

Forced to Sit Still & Shut Up -- writings of an other-abled baby-boomer in NYC

What happens when a former teacher and travel industry exec suddenly finds herself disabled and wheelchair bound? She cries, gets angry and then vows to live the best life ever!

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close